


Rob The Rich

by jolimelon, keitaiijima, shkanonyasutrice



Series: The Shiroiwa Robberies [1]
Category: Battle Royale - All Media Types, Battle Royale - Takami Koushun
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25867843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolimelon/pseuds/jolimelon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/keitaiijima/pseuds/keitaiijima, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shkanonyasutrice/pseuds/shkanonyasutrice
Summary: Summertime is the ideal time for the richer folk in town to get away to their cabins and cottages for awhile- and the perfect time for a particular group of delinquent boys to rob their houses.
Series: The Shiroiwa Robberies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2187642
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	1. The Motobuchi Residence

It was the end of the school year, drifting into the beginning of summer, when the delinquent group had come up with their brilliant plan. Summer breaks weren't long, especially when half the squad typically ended up in supplementary classes, so they had to make the most of their time. Nobody could remember who first came up with the idea, or why, but they'd become too invested in their plot to back down now. 

Mitsuru was the one to take the lead. Kazuo wasn't around much those days, which left his right-hand man in the leader's position. The others didn't seem to mind- in fact, the overall vibe of the group was much louder and more exciting than it had been for some time. 

It all began when the boys had happened to overhear some of their more well-off classmates having a discussion in class. It was nothing unusual and had become something of a common occurrence on the final few days of school. They had been discussing their summer plans. More specifically, their plans to leave their beautiful, humungous mansions filled with money and treasures, all alone while they went off to cabins, or camps, or whatever it was they were doing for the summer. 

The delinquent boy group, for obvious reasons, had never had exciting summer plans. They couldn't afford to. Sure, it was possible to steal all the food, drinks, trinkets, whatever they wanted, but they couldn't steal a trip to some luxurious place far away. They could, however, get a little taste of that life if they acted fast, and smart.

And so, they decided to hold their top-secret meetings in a treehouse located in Hiroshi Kuronaga's backyard, which his friends had initially mocked him for but had actually turned out to be pretty kickass when it came to group plotting. Now, they spent many summer days there.

"We go after Motobuchi's house first," Mitsuru instructed his boys, during their latest meeting, "Ryu an' I were watching and it was just like we heard him sayin' in class, he and his parents left this morning for his grandparent's cottage or some shit, but they'll be back quick so we gotta act fast or we'll miss our chance. " 

"Neeeerd," Sho hummed under his breath, currently filing away the broken tip of one of his fingernails. "So, when do we attack?" 

With a grin, Mitsuru slapped his hands down on the floor. 

"We attack tonight."

Hiroshi tried to sit still, but he found it difficult to do so with the excitement of the upcoming heist. He was worried they might be in for a boring summer, but the plan they had come up with was golden. Not only would they start their summer in the most exciting way possible, but they would definitely have enough money to actually live their summer to the fullest.

"Hell yeah!" Hiroshi cried out. "Can we make Motobuchi cry?! I wanna make him cry!"

Before continuing, he grabbed one of the pastries his mom had brought up for the boys to enjoy, and chewed on it happily.

"I think just takin' his fuckin' glasses would make him cry," Ryuhei pointed out, laughing. He reached for a pastry too; Mrs. Kuronaga was a good cook and the only parent who really bothered to bake, so he knew he had to enjoy those whenever given a chance. 

"We need to like, decide on a strategy though. Do we go quick and smooth in and out and just grab shit, tryin' to not leave any evidence? Or do we stage a total break in, smash some windows, plant some fake ass shoe prints and shit like they do in crime shows?"

He looked specifically at Sho and Mitsuru while asking this, not trusting whatever option Hiroshi would go with. "And yeah, did ya fuckers find his exact address? 'Cause if we rob his rich 80-year-old neighbour or whatever, they're sure as fuck to not have gone anywhere, and we'll be so fuckin' busted. Think I'd rather spend summer in school than jail, y'know..."

"Hmm," Sho hummed in thought, "I want us to take our sweet, sweet time, and enjoy the finer luxuries of the rich life. What if they have a sauna in their house? Oh my God, could you imagine?" 

"Hey, we can't go using their baths and shit like that, or else they're gonna be findin' DNA everywhere and we'll be totally busted," Mitsuru grumbled. Turning his attention back to Ryuhei, he answered, "Yeah, dude, we've got it. Ain't nothing to worry about except how we're gonna go about this. I'm still thinkin' it over but I'm thinking smooth in an' out is gonna be our best option, huh? Somethin' they might not even notice right away. If we break shit then they'll definitely go to the cops and we could be busted before we're even finished all the houses."

"Aww man, I want to go in a fuckin' sauna," Hiroshi grumbled, already disappointed by the prospect of just going straight in and straight out. 

However, he paused to think about it. With the money they could steal from all their classmates, who said they were limited to just small little luxuries? He grinned and sat upright. 

"Oi, we could buy our own sauna! That's what we should do!" he exclaimed.

"And where are you gonna put it, genius? Your fuckin' treehouse?" Ryuhei asked, rolling his eyes as he crouched up. The ceiling wasn't too high, so he couldn't stand up straight. He moved to the open doorframe, ready to start descending down the ladder.

"Our own saunaaa," Sho sighed, ignoring all of the reasons why they realistically couldn't get one. It was enough of a dream for him to hold onto, motivating him to go along with the entire silly plan. 

"We got all the shit then, yeah? Gloves, flashlight..." Ryuhei continued, "Do we need any knife or some shit in case a crazy maid or somethin' is still roamin' the mansions?! Ya never know, rich people are crazy like that!"

"Yeah, we got everything," Mitsuru said, slinging a large backpack over his shoulders. It weighed him down a bit but luckily he could ditch most of the contents while in their getaway car, which happened to belong to Sho's father, Taro, who naturally had no idea that he had lent it to the boys in the first place. "You guys remember the rules, right? No loud voices," he looked at Hiroshi as he said that part.

Hiroshi rolled his eyes as Mitsuru pointedly looked at him. He could be as quiet as a mouse. Well, a mouse that constantly drew attention to itself by being as loud as possible, that was. He sat there, nodding along with the plan.

Mitsuru continued unbothered, "And fill your empty bags with as much cool shit as you can. Holler if you run into trouble, and make sure your walkie-talkie is on at all times unless ya think somebody is around then you gotta turn it off immediately. If you get caught, your names are what?"

"Dibs on Shogo Kawada," Sho answered with a laugh.

"Oh! Oh! I'm gonna be Keita Iijima!" Hiroshi called out. "That little fucker's gonna get in so much trouble if we get caught! It's gonna be awesome."

Ryuhei, already halfway down the ladder, jumped down the final few feet.

"Guess I'm Shuya Nanahara. I like mullets and soft rock. And I ain't got parents or somethin'. Man, it's like I really am him, I know so much," he said with a grin.

It was evening and the sky which had been pink with the sunset, was beginning to turn darker. It was the perfect time to follow through with this sort of plan. The boys had all dressed in darker clothes in order to sneak away more easily, should someone pop up unexpectedly. 

"Can I drive for once? C'mon, Zuki, Taro won't mind! I've only crashed my bike like, twice. And I'm totally the perfect driver for a getaway car; I always go like thirty miles over the limit! I'm the obvious choice!"

Hiroshi scrambled down after the others, moving his foot carefully from rung to rung, scared of his short legs missing one and falling on his ass. He landed on his feet moments later, scurrying to keep up with his friends.

"Yeah, let Ryu drive!" Hiroshi joined in, poking his head in between Ryuhei and Sho's shoulders. "He'll be fuckin' awesome at it! I bet he'll, like, not get us killed!"

As he spoke, he found himself less reassured by his words. As they approached the car, he began to wonder how Taro would feel about his son and their friends destroying his one mode of transportation. He shrugged at the thought. _Taro fuckin' loves us, he'll forgive us in a heartbeat!,_ he thought.

"I ain't lookin' to die before we even get there," Mitsuru said, unloading his bag into the back of the car before jumping into the passenger seat before anybody else could, "Don't let him, Zuki." 

Twirling the ring of keys around with his index finger, Sho gave Ryuhei an amused look, "I'll tell you what, if we do a nice little cleanup at Motobuchi's house then I'll let you drive to the next heist. Sound fair?"

As he asked, Sho slipped into the driver's seat, buckling his seatbelt into place and adjusting the mirrors so that he could see himself. Traffic be damned, he drove better when he was looking at what truly mattered- himself. "Safety first, my dears, put on your seatbelts. I don't want to have it on my conscious forever if one of you like, dies in my car because I hit a bump too fast."

Ryuhei groaned with dismay as he crawled into the backseat. Not only had the joy of driving been taken away from him, but Mitsuru just always snatched up the best seat, too.

"I'll get ya somethin' nice and shiny from Motobuchi's momma's drawer, 'kay, Zuki? Then ya better let me!" he commented with a smirk, smacking the back of Sho's head softly, before leaning back against his own seat and buckling in.

"Hey, maybe next year, you'll be tall enough to drive too?" Ryuhei teased Hiroshi, who seemed to be struggling just to get his belt right.

Hiroshi grumbled as he fastened his seatbelt. He thought the added bit of safety made him look less badass. But, he had to put that out of his mind- by the end of the night, he and his friends would be the richest men in Shiroiwa.

"Oi, shut up!" he snapped at Ryuhei. "I'd be a better driver than all you fuckers combined! Jus' watch me!"

"Alright, children, enough," Sho hushed the boys, as he turned on the radio to whatever Taro had it already set to. Classic dad music, of course. "Let's all be honest with each other, you'd all be terrible drivers." 

"I mean, I'm fuckin' awesome but I'm cool with shotgun," Mitsuru answered cockily. 

"Haven't ya hit like, five squirrels this year?" Ryuhei asked Mitsuru, skeptical of the bragging he was doing about his driving. "Some of them were still in the trees too!"

The car pulled out of the Kuronaga driveway at a fast pace, the car jumping with a light thud as it passed the lawn and entered the street. 

"Mailbox again?" Sho asked, not bothering to look back. 

Looking out the front window, Mitsuru answered, "Yup, mailbox. Shit, looks like you guys got a package too. Hope it wasn't anything important." 

"Your mom really should have that moved," Sho said, turning the corner out of the neighbourhood and towards the richer side of town, "It's totally in the way."

Ryuhei turned his head to look at the ruined Kuronaga mailbox. "Man. Hope that wasn't those Chinese firecrackers ya ordered to bring into summer school. It'd suck if they all just -" 

As he spoke, there was a high-pitched noise coming from behind them, before the mailbox exploded with beautiful, orange sparklers, flying around before landing down onto the grass and pavement below.

As soon as Sho mentioned a package, Hiroshi's face paled. He hoped his mom had ordered some clothes online or something, but before he could speculate, he heard a whizzing sound behind him.

He looked over his shoulder to see his parents rushing out of the house. His mom looked utterly dismayed upon seeing the firecrackers causing chaos in the yard, and his father went running back into the house, presumably to get water.

Hiroshi vaguely heard his mother call out after him, which caused him to panic. She was generally pretty patient with him, but after something like this? She was bound to be ticked.

He leaned forward, poking his head against the driver seat.

"Drive faster or else my ma's goin' to ground me for the entire fuckin' summer!" he called out. "Why th' fuck can't you just drive like a non-psycho?!"

Sho stepped harder on the gas, causing the boys to be shot back further into their seats. In no time at all, the voice of Mrs. Kuronaga was drowned out by the engine and dad tunes in the background. Once the coast was fully clear, Sho slowed the pace a bit, albeit only slightly. 

"I drive perfectly fine, thank you very much," Sho replied, "Were any squirrels killed, hm? Were they?" 

"Man, enough with those fuckin' squirrels. I went back and buried 'em, didn't I?" Mitsuru grumbled, the visual of squirrel roadkill had made him feel a little sick even just in thought, and he still felt a bit guilty about it. "Motobuchi's house should be comin' up soon, Zuki, just take a right here an' follow the smell of musty old books." 

Just as Mitsuru had stated, Motobuchi's house had quickly come up. Thanks to Sho's speeding, they had arrived in no time at all. He pulled into the driveway, positioning the car so that it was hardly visible behind the large oak tree in the front yard. The last thing they needed was nosey neighbours watching the whole thing and being able to identify the car too easily. 

"Now's the part we gotta be careful, alright? These rich types probably got lotsa security and shit set up, so we've gotta find a way inside that involves getting around it. The garage might be our best bet. Looks like one of the panels on the door has got a loose panel. If we can bust it open enough for Hiroshi to slide in, then he can unlock the doors for us. Sound good?"

Ryuhei nodded, observing the best he could from the slightly muddy window. 

"Yeah, there might be an alarm or shit at the front door to disarm though. What if we need a code? Look for that shit, Hiro, and if there is one, we could go through the backdoor or somethin' instead," he suggested, trying to spot any potential security cameras as well. 

"And like, don't activate any lights or sprinklers or some shit for the neighbours to hear when ya go up to the garage! Ya might be too small for the sensors to register anyway, we're prolly all good."

Hiroshi nodded along at the others' instructions. Granted, he wasn't the most graceful and lithe person around, but he could at least manage that much.

"You got it!" he called out.

With that, he tiptoed up the driveway, trying to ignore how his heart was thudding. _Calm the fuck down. What the fuck is Motobuchi going to do if he catches you? Force you to write a 1,500-word essay?,_ he thought. Luckily, his venture up to the garage was a success. No lights, no sprinklers. He forced open the loose panel and wedged in. 

The garage was bathed in darkness. He tiptoed backwards, and as he did so, he felt his head collide with something wooden. He gritted his teeth, trying to stop himself from exclaiming some profanities. However, he heard the sound of something crashing to the ground.

He looked down and saw he had bumped into a shelf, knocking over a tub of paint. The lid had popped open, and green paint was now slowly seeping out. He watched worriedly as the paint started to stain the tires of the car, which looked expensive and pristinely clean.

 _Fuck, ain't got time to worry about that. That's a problem for the Motobuchis tomorrow,_ he thought, scurrying out of the garage.

He tiptoed to the front of the house, suppressing a groan when he saw the alarm system. He tiptoed towards the kitchen, where he could see the backdoor positioned. Upon entering the kitchen, he spotted a bowl of oranges. He took one, beginning to peel it as he approached the back door and unlocked it, with thankfully no alarm bells ringing.

"Motherfuckers, this is your boss speakin'," he whispered into the walkie-talkie. "As Zuki would say, come in the backdoor."

Immediately, Mitsuru grimaced and replied into the walkie-talkie, "Ugh, fuck dude, come on." 

"Oh, don't be sensitive. You're such a baby," Sho snickered. He replied into the walkie-talkie, "Cute one, Hiro. We're on the way." 

Undoing their seatbelts and loading up with the supplies they needed, including empty bags to load with treasures, the three slipped out of the car, shutting the doors carefully behind them to not make too much noise. They crept up the side of the house, walking close to the walls. Hiroshi greeted them at the backdoor, where they slipped into the house, turning their flashlights on and keeping them low to the ground.

"Well, time to see if the Motobuchi's got any good shit for the takin'," Mitsuru commented, walking ahead of the others.

"Where do we go first? Bedrooms, right?" Ryuhei asked eagerly, holding his flashlight close. "I hope they ain't that sorts of paranoid rich people who keep safes and all that fuckery. Oi, Zuki, you'll be able to tell the real shit from the fake, right?"

"Obvi," Sho answered, "But I'm not holding my breath for anything good _here_."

Ryuhei could not see too much interesting stuff yet, as they had entered something which looked like a living room area. There were a lot of bookshelves with ugly decorations and, naturally, books.

Sneaking around alongside the group, Hiroshi tried to remain in complete ninja mode. He grimaced at the amount of books they had. He had a feeling that the ultimate way to break Kyoichi's heart would be to steal some books. He began to sneak them off the shelves and into his bag, not caring about how much they were worth. Seeing Kyoichi cry was priceless.

"Damn. It's 'bout as ugly and nerdy as I expected so far. The fuck is this?" Ryuhei picked up a porcelain figurine of a woman holding an umbrella, standing next to a crane. Not that he had any idea, but it was a Lladró. "Rich people got the most useless shit. Hiro, catch!"

Forcefully, he threw the fragile decoration towards his friend.

"Huh?!" Hiroshi said as he heard his name mentioned.

Next thing he knew, a porcelain figure was flying in his direction. He scrambled to catch it but ended up tripping over his feet, thudding onto the floor. He heard a delicate smashing sound next to him. When he raised his head, he saw that the figurine was in pieces.

"Oh fuck," he muttered. "Ya really fucked up this time, Ryu."

Sho, who had been preoccupied with going through the main hall closet to see if there were any designer coats, had his attention caught by the smashing noise. He brought the direction of his flashlight towards the source and sighed at the sight of the broken Lladró. "Such a shame, that was a beautiful figurine. Very expensive, too." 

"Hey! What'd we say about breaking shit, assholes? Clean it up and throw it out so they don't notice it, huh?" Mitsuru grumbled, shaking his head. At that rate, he'd have to raid their medicine cabinet for an aspirin. Until then, however, he was more interested in a locked trunk he had found beneath the couch. He began to search the cushions for a hidden key.

"The fuck, Hiro! Your reflexes are shit!" Ryuhei complained as if this was somehow all Hiroshi's fault. He picked up the smashed pieces and put them in one of his bags. Luckily the broken off pieces were quite big, so it didn't look like they had to find a dustpan or anything. Any remaining shards too small to pick up, he simply kicked under the edge of the bookshelf.

"My reflexes ain't shit! It's your fuckin' fault for throwin' that shit at me when I'm obviously fuckin' busy!" Hiroshi retaliated, shoving another book in his bag as if to prove his point.

Turning to Sho, Ryuhei squinted. "Expensive? How expensive? There's more of these ugly ones, should I grab one or two?" he asked curiously, pointing to the shelf. Without even waiting for an answer, his eyes widened at the treasure Mitsuru had found.

"Fuck! What'd ya think they got in there? Secret porn stash?!"

"Like, thousands or something," Sho mumbled in response to Ryuhei, shoving the other figurines in his bag once he noticed that the boy had become preoccupied with the trunk. After he had collected them all, he hovered over the other boys, curious about what was within the trunk.

Hiroshi's attention was drawn away from what he was doing, and he peeked over Mitsuru's shoulder into the trunk, his eyes widening. _Oh, it's definitely porn,_ he thought and kicked the lock. It snapped open, falling to the floor. Eagerly, he threw open the lid, and instantly recoiled.

"Huh, if I knew we just had to kick it, I would've fuckin' done that in the first place," Mitsuru commented as he tossed aside the couch cushions he'd been searching.

"The fuck... are these..." Hiroshi muttered.

Inside the trunk were dozens of creepy-looking ragdolls. They all had black, glossy buttons for eyes and poorly stitched smiles. Their limbs hung loosely from their bodies as if they were ready to fall off at any moment. He took one out of the trunk, holding it up to the others. After a moment of deliberation, he tossed it in Ryuhei's direction.

Ryuhei could see Hiroshi throw something at him from the corner of his eye, catching the ragdoll mid-air. Looking down at it, he grimaced. The button eyes, the... Long, blond strings of yarn-hair...

"Fuck! Is this ugly fucker 'sposed to be me?!" Ryuhei yelled out, already forgetting to keep his voice down. "That's fucked up! I look nothin' like this!" he violently shook the doll

"These bitches are definitely haunted!" Hiroshi exclaimed. "D'ya think Motobuchi uses them as, like, voodoo dolls for the class or some shit?"

"What the fuck, dude?" Mitsuru shivered, "These can't be worth shit. Why the hell do they have them locked up like that?"

"Maybe they really are haunted," Sho commented, picking up one curiously, twirling its yarn hair with his fingertip. "Maybe they were just being contained in the trunk."

Hiroshi shuddered at the possibility of the dolls being haunted. The last thing he needed was to be cursed for the rest of his life.

"I say we throw this trunk in the lake or somethin', and make our own nerd voodoo doll when we get to the lair. Motobuchi's summer's 'bout to get as ugly as he is!" Angrily mumbling to himself, Ryuhei tried to get over how insulted he felt at the doll imitation. He glanced towards the staircase in the hallway, wondering if he should check out the upstairs.

Hiroshi scrambled through the trunk of horrors, wondering if he could find a voodoo doll of himself. However, before he could find anything, he was distracted by Ryuhei’s idea.

“No fuckin’ way, man! Don’ ya know what happens to voodoo dolls is gonna happen to us?! I don’ wanna fuckin’ drown!” he exclaimed, but then paused. “We coul’ throw the rest of the dolls in the lake, I guess.”

When he saw Ryuhei looking towards the staircase, he raised an eyebrow. “Shoul’ we go upstairs or what? D’ya think they’re hiding gold bars up there or somethin’?” he asked.

"If they are voodoo dolls then, do you feel this?" As Sho asked the question, he picked up the blonde ragdoll in his hand, and held his lighter in the other, bringing the flame close to the dolls face without lighting it directly on fire.

"Zuki, c'mon, don't fuck with doll-me!" Ryuhei whined as he was beginning to climb the staircase to explore the bedrooms which he assumed would be up there. "Leave the fuckin' fires to Hiroshi. Or like, don't..."

Hiroshi chuckled as Ryuhei brought up his past mishaps with fire. Sure, one of those times had led to a school-wide evacuation, but it was a riot.

He wrinkled his nose as he passed the family portraits that decorated the wall of the stairway. Seeing a picture of Kyoichi’s stern-looking face made him want to grab a marker and draw a dick over it.

"Woah, woah, fuck, careful, man, we don't want to burn this place down," Mitsuru scolded, clearly baring all of the brunts of responsibility on this mission. "... You ain't feel it though, do ya?"

Sending Hiroshi a quick glance, Ryuhei figured Mitsuru's concern about a fire breaking out would be very real if their smaller friend was the one carrying the lighter. He paused on the stairs for a second, figuring he could fuck with his more gullible friends.

"Nah, I don't feel shi- Aaaaaaaah! Fuck! It fuckin' BURNS!" Ryuhei cried out dramatically, clutching his chest as he threw himself down onto the steps, rolling around like he was having a seizure. "Put me out! PUT ME OUT!"

Hiroshi's attention was suddenly drawn towards Ryuhei’s dramatic display. He bounded down the stairs, patting his chest in an attempt to put out the hypothetical fire.

“WATER! WE NEED WATER!” he roared, genuinely panicking.

He froze when he heard the creak of a floorboard from upstairs. He offered an apologetic grin at Mitsuru.

Watching his friend's usual antics was one thing. It was amusing most of the time, but right now? Mitsuru wasn't having it. He'd set some clear rules and they had pretty much broken them all at that point.

"Fuck," Mitsuru grumbled in a yell-whisper, "You fuckin' idiots. What if somebody is home?!"

Ryuhei kept up his dramatic antics and allowed Hiroshi to pat him down, stopping only when he heard the loud creak from upstairs. Freezing, his eyes widened.

"Ah, fuck," he muttered, jumping back onto his feet. He grabbed Hiroshi's arm, pulling him with him down the stairs, his head turned towards the top of them, waiting to see a figure at any moment. By that point, Sho had slipped his lighter back into his pocket, tossing the ragdoll aside, his laughter stifled to a complete halt.

"See, this is why I should be in charge of the stealth missions. You're all such amateurs," The tallest of the boys teased, clearly unbothered by the possibility of getting caught.

Mitsuru shushed his loud friends angrily, gesturing for them to head back down the stairs immediately. The creaking of the floorboards from upstairs was getting louder, and closer with each creak.

When Ryuhei and Hiroshi reached the others at the bottom of them, Ryuhei grinned slightly to Mitsuru.

"We could, y'know, try to knock them out?" he suggested. It was at that moment, he heard a new noise erupting from upstairs. A low growl. Gulping, Ryuhei once again turned to look. At the top of the stairs, he could see a huge dog stare down at them. He hadn't expected the Motobuchi's to have any pet, especially not a pretty cool looking dog like that; and it looked pissed. He must have been asleep upstairs somewhere, woken up by his own loud screams only moments ago. Between the growls, the dog now began barking loudly, looking like he was ready to charge at them any second.

"Or, we could, y'know... Fuckin' RUN!" Ryuhei yelled, pushing his friends aside and making a dash towards the backdoor.

Hiroshi could do nothing but stand and stare at the dog for a moment. The one thing he took in from the dog’s hostility was that it did not like their gang. Hiroshi was torn between utter fear or disbelief that a creature in the world actually cared about protecting Kyoichi Motobuchi.

In this instance, fear won.

“FUUUUUCK, I DON’ WANNA DIE!” Hiroshi screamed.

As he did so, he hopped onto Sho’s back, clinging to him as tightly as possible. He hitched his legs up as much as he could, hoping his ankles could avoid the big dog’s snapping teeth.

Sho hadn't even gotten the chance to move when the sudden weight clung onto him and didn't show any signs of letting go. He let out a grunt as Hiroshi's grip tightened, his screams shrill as they hit his eardrum. But he had no time to complain about it. Running as fast as he could, even with the additional weight of Hiroshi hanging off of him, he sprinted to the backdoor with a speed unmatched, quickly surpassing Mitsuru and Ryuhei as he swung open the door and jumped onto the back porch.

Just behind the others, Mitsuru had been set behind the group when he had stopped to grab their only useful bag of treasures. Just as he stepped a single foot outside the house, the large dog clasped his jaw onto Mitsuru's pant leg and pulled him back into the house, dragging him inside horror-movie-style. He let out a yelp, clinging to the frame of the door in an attempt to keep his balance.

"FUCK!" He yelled, certainly alerting all of the neighbours that something strange was going on. But right now? He didn't care. "ONE OF YOU FUCKERS GET THIS FUCKIN' DOG AWAY!"

Ryuhei turned around when he heard Mitsuru's cry for help, feeling his heart race.

_Fuck, he's gonna fuckin' be eaten alive. By Motobuchi's pet?! So damn embarassin'..._

"Aww, what a pity, Mitsuru always had such cute curls," Sho sighed, almost sure that the boy would die when left in the hands of his friends. It's not like he was making an effort himself but like, he had somehow been tasked with protecting Hiroshi, and after destroying the Kuronaga mailbox, he didn't want to do anything else to earn the wrath of Mrs. Kuronaga.

"Shit, 'kay... Hold on..." Ryuhei mumbled, panicked, looking for anything he could use to throw off the dog with.

"H-Hiroshi! Fucker, d'ya got any of your mom's cookies or sandwich or somethin' on ya? We need to throw somethin' for this monster b'fore he has Mitsuru as his dinner!" he yelled out, hoping Sho and Hiroshi weren't about to jump in the car and ditch them.

Hiroshi clung tighter to Sho as he watched Mitsuru get dragged away by Kyoichi’s demon dog. Upon hearing Ryuhei’s question, he frowned.

He rummaged around in his pocket and pulled out a sandwich that his mother had made with love. And now, it was about to be wasted on this dog that needed an exorcism. The sandwich was slightly battered-looking, but still appealing.

“You fuckers so owe me a new sandwich for this,” Hiroshi said gloomily. “Ma made it as my snack for the night!”

He squeezed his eyes shut as he threw the sandwich, unable to watch as he wasted his food. When he heard the sound of sniffing, he opened one eye and saw the dog now examining the sandwich.

“Is it workin’?!” he whispered into Sho’s ear.

Following an ominous moment of silence after the dog had stopped growling and had instead started gobbling down the sandwich, Mitsuru crawled out of the dark Motobuchi household, his shoes barely hanging on to his feet, and the bottoms of his pants torn.

"F-Fuck," he breathed heavily, getting up on his feet as he slammed the door behind him, "That animal is a fuckin' demon,"

"Aw, it worked, Hiro baby, you can look now," Sho whispered back to the small boy, "Mitsu somehow survived thanks to your great sacrifice."

Hiroshi hopped off Sho’s back as soon as the coast was clear. He glared at the dog, who was now munching away happily on his sandwich. _I won’t forgive you for this, you bastard,_ he thought.

"Thank God for Mrs. Kuronaga's sandwich!" Ryuhei joined in, drawing a sigh of relief as he tugged on Mitsuru's sleeve to pull him along towards the car. "Ya 'kay? What even WAS that? No way that was just a fuckin' dog. Must be some sorta weaponized thing!"

"Yeah, whatever. It's nothin', man," Mitsuru grumbled, despite the throbbing pains now growing in his body. 

Walking towards the car, Ryuhei broke into a slight grin.

"Hey. Dunno 'bout ya guys, but I got like, three hundred thousand yen worth of these ugly figurines. That's a success, right?! And Zuki... Ya promised I could drive if I did good, and shit... Soooo..." he nodded to the door of the driving side. "My turn?"

Hiroshi sulked on his way back to the car, barely paying attention to what his friends were saying. He climbed into the backseat, but as he did so, he peeked up once he heard Ryuhei suggest it was his turn to drive.

“Yeah! It’s finally time! C’mon, Ryu, show us what ya got!” he exclaimed.

"Hmmm," Sho pretended to consider whether he would let Ryuhei drive or not, just to tease him a bit. He held up the keys, dangling them just out of reach. "I wonder if I shoooould after how disastrous that heist was..."

Ryuhei pouted.

"Come on, man! B'sides..." He leaned closer to Sho, whispering so that the others couldn't hear. "Ya wanna go to that house we talked 'bout, right? Y'know Mitsuru wouldn't let us, but there's gonna be a shitton of good stuff there. So lemme drive, c'moooon!"

Hiroshi unrolled the window and leant his head out, hearing Ryuhei’s begging. He offered his best puppy eyes, looking up pleadingly at Sho.

“Pleaaaase, please please, please? Do it for me after I sacrificed my sandwich!” he begged.

"The fuck's takin' you so damn long?" Mitsuru grumbled from the front seat, still grumpy after his encounter with the hell hound.

Looking between Ryuhei and Hiroshi, Sho couldn't help but smile teasingly, "Alriiiight, I guess you can this time. If only for that delightful little surprise awaiting us."

Sho handed the keys off to Ryuhei and then slipped into the backseat with Hiroshi, lighting up a cigarette almost instantly after the chaotic beginning of the evening.

Seeing Ryuhei slip into the front seat, Mitsuru raised a brow, "Wow, the figurines were good enough that we gotta die by Ryu's hand now?"

"Yeah, my figurine booty and Hiro's puppy eyes really sealed the deal!" Ryuhei said with a satisfied smirk. "Now, our next destination is gonna be sorta a surprise, and it is guaranteed to have lots of great shit, so... I don't wanna hear a peep outta ya!" he warned, raising a finger to Mitsuru in particular. He knew Hiroshi wouldn't give a shit.

Starting the car, Ryuhei drove towards the Kanai residence, which Sho had easily managed to find the address for. He didn't hit any mailboxes on the way, but he also didn't drive particularly carefully, and every speedbump sent them jumping in their seats.

"Hope everyone's wearin' their belt or ya gonna get launched!" Ryuhei joked, speeding up for the next bump, the car almost doing a leap on its own.

The night already off to a disastrous start, the group headed towards their next destination with unwarranted excitement.


	2. The Kanai Residence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the gang continue to the Kanai Residence, it's sure to turn out as successful as one would expect.

Luckily, the houses in Shiroiwa's fancier neighbourhood weren't too far apart, and the Kanai mansion was only about a five minute drive away from the Motobuchi residence. This meant Ryuhei didn't have time to cause any permanent damage to the car, try as he might.  
However, despite Hiroshi begging for Ryuhei to be put in the driver’s seat, he ended up spending the entire ride clinging onto the front seat, praying for his life. When they arrived at their destination, he let out a sigh of relief.  
“We survived! It’s a fuckin’ miracle!” he exclaimed, undoing his seat belt and hopping out of the car.

Ryuhei stopped the in front of the main gate, which looked a bit taller than he had anticipated. And it would be locked, of course, as the Kanai's were on some expensive holiday down in Okinawa, if Sho's information was correct.  
"Fuck. 'Kay, we prolly gotta have to climb this shit somehow," Ryuhei groaned, squinting as he got out of the car. There were trees nearby, so it couldn't be too difficult. Landing might be harder. Now, he was just hoping Mitsuru wouldn't be able to guess exactly where they were.

As Hiroshi got out too, he gazed up at the mansion, he raised an eyebrow. It looked awfully fancy, and for a moment, he wondered if this was Kazuo’s place. But, then he remembered Kazuo was even richer than this mansion looked.  
_Should we try stealing from Boss_? he wondered for a moment, but pushed the thought aside. Kazuo would never betray them, so why should they betray him like that? He continued looking up at the mansion, his confusion only growing by the minute.

“Uh, where the fuck are we?” he asked.  
Aware of Ryuhei's plan, Sho could hardly stop a smirk from creeping onto his face, knowing well just how much trouble this was going to get them into. Even more than that, however, he looked forward to raiding the Kanai mansion for his own enjoyment, often having thought that Izumi's mother looked like a glamorous woman when he briefly saw her at school events and so on. Now that they were there, Sho was more surprised by the size of the mansion than he had expected. The gate itself was going to be exhausting to get over, and they would definitely have a tricky security system.

Meanwhile, Mitsuru, like Hiroshi, had no idea where the boys were. He'd only scoped out the Motobuchi and Oda households, and left the rest to his friends.  
"The hell is this?" he asked, looking around the car, and noting quickly that only Hiroshi looked just around confused as he did. "This Utsumi's place or something?"   
Ryuhei covered half his mouth with a hand, mouthing the answer to this question Hiroshi, while Mitsuru was too distracted looking around the area.

Hiroshi tried to stop himself from snickering, knowing that Mitsuru would flip if he knew where they really were. He wondered if he would eventually figure out, or if he would live his life in ignorant bliss. Sho looked to Ryuhei, eagerly awaiting the lie that he'd come up with on the spot.  
Ryuhei only shrugged.  
"Yeah, that's it. Utsumi's," he lied easily, figuring since Mitsuru offered him an easy way out, he might as well take it. "Zuki and I did some detective work and I guess they're richer than we thought?"  
He hoped Mitsuru wouldn't start giving them shit for planning to break into any girl's house, but he wasn't going to let him stop him either way.  
"If ya don't wanna do this, ya can wait in the car," he said casually, eyeing the best route over the metal gate.

As if to confirm Ryuhei's concerns, Mitsuru wasn't happy at the thought of breaking into a girls house. The boys were one thing- they were all dickheads anyway. He didn't feel bad about that. But what had any of the girls done? Still, his complaints went unlistened to and he felt obligated to shut up once Sho told him to stop being a baby because it wasn't very manly and obviously Mitsuru felt the need to prove him manlihood anytime somebody threw that one in his face. Didn't stop him from complaining, though.

Ryuhei was the first one to begin climbing the conveniently placed trees, only needing to reach the third branch before he felt sure he could make the jump to the top of the gate. Thankfully, it didn't have those spiked tops or seemed to be electric in any way.  
_Shit, I should've made Hiro go first, just to be sure it was safe!_ Doing a small jump from the branch, Ryuhei grabbed onto the top of the gate, hauling his body over onto the other side. He let himself slide down slightly, before feeling comfortable enough that he wouldn't get hurt if he let go. Landing on both feet, he let out a sigh of relief.  
"Oi, assholes! It was real fuckin' easy. C'mon, just do what I did!"

Hiroshi ran after Ryuhei, examining his actions closely. He jumped onto the branch too and grabbed shakily onto the top of the gate, not trusting himself to land smoothly. Just as he was urging himself to plan his landing smoothly, he lost his grip, and immediately fell. Luckily, Ryuhei broke his fall, but his body still hurt on the impact of the landing.  
“Fuck, that hurt!” he groaned.  
  
Even as Mitsuru climbed the trees beside the gate, he was still bitching about breaking into a girl’s place the whole time. In fact, he was so consuming with bitching that he hadn't noticed Hiroshi and Ryuhei had toppled over each other and landed ass first in Hiroshi's back. Ryuhei yelped in pain as Hiroshi landed on him, followed quickly by another heavy weight being added as Mitsuru also joined the pile.

"Fuck! One of ya fuckers really need to diet; Mitsuru, I think it's ya!" he whined, pushing both of them off. His back aching, he rubbed the lower part of it firmly as he scrambled to his feet.  
  


Sho, landing swiftly beside them, smiled amusedly at the sight.  
"You okay, boys? You know the gate actually had a little switch right here. If we had just reached through, we could have opened it easily..." his voice drifted off with a hint of teasing.  
As he pointed out out the button had been easily within reach, Ryuhei groaned in response.  
"Yeah! Fuck, I knew that, I just... Thought the tree looked fun and shit," he lied, not wanting to admit he had fucked up. "At least gettin' out won't be such a bitch then, huh?"  
Hiroshi groaned too as he stood up, glaring at Mitsuru for being so clumsy. When Sho mentioned the switch on the gate, he let out another groan.  
_This stupid house raid better be worth it_ , he thought. He stretched out his arms, trying to ease the pain. At this rate, he figured that this night would end with his mom coming to collect him from the emergency room.

Approaching the main door, Ryuhei looked around for any security cameras. He spotted one pointing directly over the door. "Fuck. 'Kay, dumbasses, any idea how to dodge this shit? Do we smash a window? Climb some more? Backdoor?"  
Hiroshi immediately jumped up, eager to help out.  
“I got it!” he yelled.  
He picked up a rock that was lying nearby, and launched it in through one of the large windows. It let out a loud crashing sound, and Hiroshi grinned as he watched the glass fall down into the grass below.  
“You guys are welcome,” he said.

The other boys stood there slack-jawed at the sight of Hiroshi smashing the window- though no less amused. Sho let out a laugh, and Mitsuru couldn't help but groan at the thought of his sneaky plan getting ruined by how much damage they were costing each house already. Still, the odds of being caught while the rich neighbourhoods were practically vacated were still low, and he felt relieved only by that fact alone.  
"Come on, man," Mitsuru rolled his eyes, "They ain't supposed to notice this major property damage?"  
"Oh it's fine, don't fuss so much," Sho commented, still amused, "They'll think a bird like, smashed through or something. Who cares?"

Before Mitsuru could object any more, Sho took the lead stepping through the window and sneaking quietly in the darkened house. Even in the dark of night, he could see how pastel and bright the inside of the house was. The decor was clearly something the family was proud of, as it was hard to miss even in darkness.  
"Utsumi's this rich?" Mitsuru asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he glanced at the families portraits above the fire place. In the photos, the young girl of the house was only a child, but still, something felt off. She didn't look like Utsumi.  
  
Ryuhei had followed Sho inside, eager to explore the mansion. This time he didn't want to waste too much time messing around downstairs; he was ready to go straight for the bedrooms.  
Before he made it to the stairs, he heard Mitsuru comment something about Utsumi. Ryuhei followed his friend's gaze, seeing the family photos Mitsuru was looking at. Ryuhei quickly scanned the rest of the photos on the wall, panicking slightly as be realized the photos showed an obvious time progression, eventually revealing whose house it really was. He grabbed onto Mitsuru's shoulders whilst the boy was still occupied looking at the childhood photos and spun his body around torso around.  
"Oi, we ain't here to flip through their photo album, huh?!" Ryuhei laughed nervously, pushing Mitsuru towards the stairs. "Let's get this show on the road! I'm sure Mrs, err, Utsumi, has some real expensive shit upstairs! And we should check out Utsumi's room too, just in case! Should we like, split up and look or somethin'?!"

Ryuhei looked curiously at Sho and Hiroshi, while never stopping nudging Mitsuru in the right direction.  
Hiroshi paced around the mansion, admiring how spacious the place was. He approached a table, picking up various knick-knacks. He winced when he dropped one, and quickly moved on.  
“Yeah! Let’s go see what juicy shit Utsumi has! Maybe she has some weird fucked up secret like Motobuchi!” Hiroshi called out, scurrying after the others.

Mitsuru grumbled as he was pushed aside by Ryuhei, but luckily he was distracted pretty damn easily so there wasn't much of a fuss for long. Looking around, he was actually pretty impressed by his friends find.  
"Yeah, she's probably got some interesting shit, I guess," he shrugged, not having paid much attention to Utsumi beyond drowning out her voice during the morning announcements at school, but she was definitely more interesting than Motobuchi was, that was for sure.  
  
"The house is suuuuper pretty so far," Sho hummed contently, stopping in his tracks when he noticed that one of the bedrooms had a big pink sign on it that read "Izumi-chan's room!" It was so cutesy and outdated that he could only assumed that it had been there since she was a child. Quickly, he covered the room sign with his tall frame, pushing his back against the door while reaching for the knob. "Why don't we try this room, hm?"  
Mitsuru hadn't noticed the odd display luckily, so he didn't much care.  
"Sure," he replied, "Might be some expensive jewellery we can pawn off or some shit."

Ryuhei nodded eagerly as they entered Izumi's bedroom.  
"Yeah, f'sure!" he agreed. "Our own sauna, here we come!" He said this with a wink to Hiroshi, who might finally live to see one of his dreams come true.  
Hiroshi's eyes lit up as Ryuhei mentioned the possibility of their own sauna. With the successful way their night was going thus far, he had a good feeling that they really would have their own sauna by the end of the summer. He thought it would look perfect in his treehouse.  
He tiptoed into the girl's room, taken aback by how pink it was. He glanced toward the bed, wondering if the girl in question would be in the bed. He was relieved to see she wasn't, considering Mitsuru would probably cause hell if he saw who it was.

Ryuhei began looking around the girl's room. It was easy to guess her favourite colour was pink, which seemed to be a theme with the bedding, pillows, wall decorations... Even a pink sofa by the window. Sho shut the door behind them after they had all entered, to avoid the risk of the sign on it being seen by Mitsuru. Luckily, the inside of the room didn't seem to promote her name everywhere, but the pink was... overbearing, somehow.  
  
Mitsuru also looked around curiously, the room somehow much less studious than he ever thought it might be. "Utsumi is this crazy 'bout pink shit..? Never woulda guessed. She seems more nerdy than girly."

On Izumi’s dresser was a small, pink box which Ryuhei thought might have been a jewellery box. He opened it slowly, as if saving the anticipation. However, it turned out to be a cheesy ballet dancer inside, and as he opened it, a song from a musical or something which he didn't have a clue what was called, starting playing. Startled, he slammed the box shut.  
"Fuck! That's some horror movie shit," he cringed. He hadn't expected it to make noise.  
Wanting to locate the good (expensive) shit, he opened the top drawer of the dresser. He did see several small boxes with brand names on them and assumed they might contain what they were looking for.  
"Guys! Jackpot! Check this out," Ryuhei called out to the others.

Something else had caught his eye too though. A little, baby blue book with the words _Positive Vibes Only_.  
_A diary? Fuck, this could be good._ Grabbing it, Ryuhei bounced down onto the bed, making himself comfortable.  
"Ya guys up for a laugh while ya scavage this room?!" he chuckled, opening the book on a random page.

When Ryuhei landed down on the bed and mentioned something about a diary, Hiroshi scurried over, sitting on the edge of the bed. Before peeking at the diary, though, Hiroshi noticed a teddy bear propped up at the top of the bed. And it was really damn cute. After a moment of deliberation, he took it and put it in his bag.  
"Let's hear it! Maybe she's got some fucked up secret like Motobuchi!" he exclaimed.

Mitsuru was distracted soon enough by the mention of a diary- sometimes finding good blackmail was as good as good treasures, though he felt bad involving a girl. Eh, Utsumi probably didn't have any good secrets anyway. She probably wrote about classes and shit. Still, could offer up a good laugh. Mitsuru grabbed the desk chair and spun it around, sitting with his chest against the back of it.  
"Alright but anything 'bout periods or sumn and we're shutting the damn thing, alright?"  
"Ewww," Sho grimaced in agreement, "Yeah no, anything like that and we're burning it. Totally want to hear everything else though. Go ahead, Ryuuu."

Ryuhei cleared his throat. The random page already seemed to provide for a good laugh.  
"'Kay, so we're in the middle of a story here. It's 'bout a guy," he started off with, a smirk on his face, before he started reading out loud:  
_"I still don't understand how he knew that I was afraid of the dark -_ Man, what a pussy Rep is! - _Or what he meant when he said he looks at me differently than others. And then he brought me my favourite cookies for our study session. How can he know all this?_ \- Hah, this poor fucker is simpin’ hard," Ryuhei had to stop to cackle. Imagine being tragic enough to be mentioned in Kanai's diary like this.

"Pathetic! Anyway," he continued reading. _"I guess it could all be coincidences, but it feels like there might be more to it. Or am I just crazy? Sometimes he does more for me than what I could ever expect, like when he went after that High School student who... stole my.. money.._.," Ryuhei's voice died out as he recognized this story from earlier that year, when Izumi had been robbed and the gang, at Mitsuru's insistence, had gone after the perpetrator. _Well, fuck._ Not looking up, he closed his eyes, hoping that there might be any chance Mitsuru had forgotten all about that.

The more Ryuhei read, the more Sho put two and two together. He had gestured many times for the boy to stop reading but was met with only grins from Ryuhei as he continued onward. Oh well, your problem now, he thought to himself as he focused on pocketing some of Izumi's jewellery before Mitsuru could clue in and stop him. Hiroshi had also listened along intently, briefly forgetting that this wasn't actually Yukie's room. He began to wonder who was doing all this stuff for her, but then as soon as Ryuhei mentioned the high school student, he perked up. He grinned, remembering that night. Man, we gotta do something like that again soon, he thought.  
However, he froze up when he realized Ryuhei had given it away that this was actually Izumi Kanai's room. He sat up, grabbed the girl's pillow, and tossed it in Ryuhei's face.  
"Way to blow the surprise, dumbshit!" he shouted.

Mitsuru, however, through furrowed brows and pursed lips, listened to the entire story with a confused expression. At first, it seemed like a coincidence, but the further the story went, the more he felt horrified. Once Ryuhei stopped, he jumped to his feet and hurried over, attempting to pry the book from his hands.  
"What the fuck is this?!" He yelled, "This ain't Utsumi's journal! Why the fuck would she have Kana---"  
Freezing, and looking briefly at the rest of the boys, suddenly something clicked in place. "You fuckin' pricks! You lied to me! This is Kanai's place, ain't it?!"

  
He snatched the diary from Ryuhei and held it defensively against his chest. "We shouldn't be readin' this shit! We shouldn't even be here! Man, what the fuck?! You'd lie to me like that, you fuckin' dickhead?!"  
Hiroshi cackled at Mitsuru's reaction. Of course he'd be too much of a prude to agree to something like this, so seeing him realize where they were felt good.  
"Oi, what's the problem? Ya thought it was Utsumi's room a second ago! Why's it different if it's Kanai?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Ryuhei groaned, throwing himself down onto the bed once Mitsuru had pried the book out of his hands. Busted. This meant the fun was probably over.  
"Yeah, whatever! We lied! Look, she's like, the third richest in the class! It didn't make sense not to fuckin' go just 'cause ya wanna play the good guy!" he snapped, still sprawled out over the bed.  
"B'sides, we don't gotta take her shit. She's got an equally rich mom we can rob, right?!"

Ryuhei propped himself onto his elbows, looking at Sho and Hiroshi.  
"I mean... We're already here now! Might as well. Hiro didn't smash that window for nothin', right?!"  
Upon mentioning grabbing other stuff, Hiroshi hopped up from the bed, beginning to rummage through Izumi's drawers.  
"C'mon, why don' girls keep their expensive shit jus' lyin' around?!"

  
"Of course it's fuckin' different, dickheads!" Mitsuru protested, "I still gotta finish that damn project with her, don't I?!"  
"Blah blah blah," Sho teased, "She'll never find out, Mitsu. It's fine."  
"What if she does, huh?! It's one thing is Motobuchi and Oda hates us- who gives a damn, but Kanai?! Come on, man! Hiro, stop touching her underwear, you fuckin' perv!"  
Hiroshi froze when he realized he was rummaging through the girl's underwear and jumped back, wiping his hands on his pants. "Ewww, I don' wanna touch her panties!"

Ryuhei ignored Mitsuru's excuses, throwing him a teasing grin.  
"I don't really give a fuck if the princess hates us, either," he told him casually, getting up from the bed and leaning in over Hiroshi's shoulder when underwear was mentioned.  
"Fuck, black lace panties? Who'd have thought..."  
  
Annoying Mitsuru was of course fun, but Ryuhei also had a more important mission; looting. Opening another drawer, he picked up a small box. Opening it, a pair of diamond earrings were shining towards him.  
"Holy fuuuck. Fellas, we're really gonna be rich this time!"  
As soon as Ryuhei mentioned being rich, Hiroshi ran over, admiring the earrings. "Fuck, how much ya think we're gonna get for them?!" he asked.

"Aww, they are soooo pretty," Sho mused, touching them gently with the tips of his fingers, "Do we really have to sell them?"  
"NO! We ain't going to!" Mitsuru grumbled, "You fuckers need to put all this shit back or else I'm gonna get real mad!!"  
Ryuhei snicked at Mitsuru's tone. He didn't feel too intimidated.  
"'Kay, calm the fuck down, mom," he rolled his eyes playfully. "Will ya at least let us go check out her mom's shit, then? There's no way we can leave a mansion like this empty-handed, just 'cause ya wanna literally get in some chick's panties..."  
As he said it, he threw the pair of underwear Hiroshi had thrown back into the drawer, straight in Mitsuru's face.

As the underwear smacked him straight in the face, the lace getting caught in his curls, Mitsuru saw red flash before his eyes.  
"...You fuckin' asshole!" He screamed, lunging forward and grabbing Ryuhei by the shoulders, "Have some fuckin' respect!"  
"Fuckin' Christ!" Ryuhei exclaimed, surprised by the sudden anger. "Zuki, help!" Pouting, he attempted to shake Mitsuru off of him.  
"You should've fuckin' told me, man!! Kanai's shit would've been off limits!" Mitsuru grumbled, smacking the boy against the wall as he did so, causing a few items on a shelf to topple over. Ryuhei glanced at the stuff falling off the shelf behind him, including a framed photo of Izumi with Yuka and Noriko. The frame broke, leaving the photo cracked.  
"Hey, great job! 'Least I ain't breakin' her shit!" he said defensively.

Sho, at Ryuhei's request, grabbed Mitsuru from behind to stop him, though his grip was still too tight to shake loose.  
"You are one stubborn little thing, aren't you?" he sighed.  
"Don't fuckin' touch me, Zuki!" Mitsuru yelled out.

During this ruckus, Hiroshi, curious to explore further, wandered out of the room and down towards another door. He pushed it open, and judging by the refined drapery and the large bed, it was clear that he was in Izumi's parents' room. He glanced over at a table covered in expensive looking jewellery. He was about to walk over but stopped to yawn. He then looked back towards the bed, noticing how fluffy the pillows looked. He walked over, and flopped down on it. He gasped when he realized just how soft it was. He gripped the cozy blanket in his hands, and grinned. He pressed his head into the fluffy pillow, ignoring the banter from his friends in the other room as his eyes began to drift closed.

Hiroshi relaxed more, he decided to reach for the bag with the bear in it. He blindly reached his arm out, and as he did so, he knocked the lamp that was on the bedside table. It landed on the floor with a crash. He sat upright, wincing. Shit, he thought, and as he began to pick up pieces, he cut his hand. Blood started to drip from his finger onto the floor, and he bit his lip, trying not to exclaim.  
_Could this get any worse?!_ he asked himself. Just as he did so, he heard something downstairs.  
  
"Mrs. Kanai? Are you home already?" a male voice called out, presumably her butler.

In Izumi’s room, Mitsuru paused his yelling when a muffled voice could be heard from downstairs. 

".... Where the fuck is Hiro?" He asked in a panic, praying to whoever that that was just the boy somewhere in the distance.  
As they were all suddenly distracted by the voice, Ryuhei frowned.  
"That don't sound like Hiro..." he mumbled. Mitsuru's grip on him had loosened as they were distracted, and he dodged under his arm, heading for the door.  
  
"Hiroshi!" he called out in a quiet voice. He noted one door down the hallway was cracked open, and headed in that direction. "Hiro!"  
Entering it, he found himself in Mr and Mrs Kanai's bedroom too. He quickly spotted Hiroshi, in the middle of broken glass and with a bleeding hand.  
"Hiro, what the fuck! Someone's here! Ya made too much noise!" he hissed, hurrying over to the smaller boy. "What'd ya do?!"

Hiroshi jumped up as soon as he heard Ryuhei's voice. He held his bleeding hand, trying to prevent any more blood from getting on the floor. He glanced down at the shattered lamp and shrugged.  
"It's late, I got tired, an' long story short, I knocked over that lamp..." he mumbled. He paused as he heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. He looked over panickedly at Ryuhei.  
"The fuck do we do?!" he asked.

Ryuhei grabbed the pillow on the Kanai's bed, pulling out the pillow-case and wrapping it around Hiroshi's hand so the bleeding would stop.  
"Yo, don't leave your DNA!" he mumbled, panicking slightly as he looked to make sure there were no drops on the floor.

Following close behind Ryuhei, Mitsuru and Sho ran into the room shortly after.  
"We need to go through the window," Sho said, before anybody couldn interject. "And fast."  
"Fuck," Mitsuru grumbled, "But what's below this window?! What if it's too big a leap?"

Glancing out, Sho answered, "Hmm, there's a bit of a ledge, and down below, bushes in the garden. Those would break the fall, no?"  
Ryuhei followed Sho to the window, glancing down.  
"I dunno, Zuki... I say Hiro tests it out first 'n we'll see how it goes?" he suggested, nudging the smallest member of the gang.

Hiroshi gulped as he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. He knew that Sho was right- their only way out was through the window. And, these idiots were wasting time discussing strategy. At a time like this, the only thing to do was act.  
He ran towards the window, opening it, causing a gust of wind to enter in through the room. The chandelier above head made a delicate clinking sound, but Hiroshi took no notice. He climbed onto the ledge, trying to ignore his thudding heart.  
Without any further hesitation out of fear of chickening out, he jumped down. He bit his lip to keep himself from screaming, despite the fact that he felt like his lungs were about to explode. Moments later, he landed in the bushes below, feeling twigs scratch every available surface of his body. He raised his head from the bushes.  
"C'mon... assholes... don' have all day," he groaned.

Jumping out of the window was possibly the quietest thing that the boys had ever seen Hiroshi do- how he managed, nobody knew. Regardless, they were all very proud boys in that moment.  
"Hm, maybe we should have judged with one of you instead. Hiroshi is pretty small, after all," Sho mused, not interested in possibly sabotaging his face or body in a bad fall.  
"Ain't got time to rethink it, man, we just gotta go for it," Mitsuru said, shoving his tall frame towards the window.  
"Ugh, okay," Sho grumbled, making sure to grab a few of Mrs. Kanai's knick knacks on the way over. The trip may as well have had something worthwhile happen, after all.

He followed shortly after Hiroshi, landing in the bushes somewhat more harshly due to his much bigger body compared to the smaller boy. Luckily though, it wasn't painful or anything- and he was able to stand shortly after.  
"Alright man, you next," Mitsuru motioned to Ryuhei, "You got the keys, right? So we're gonna be counting on you to run like hell to the car and get it started."  
Ryuhei groaned slightly. It looked daunting to jump so far, but... If Hiroshi had done it so smoothly, he couldn't be any worse, right?  
"Yeah, 'kay. I'll run to open the gate and shit, and just jump into the car. Y'all better be ready," he whispered, hearing the sound of footsteps approaching from down the hall. "Fuck..."

Without waiting a second longer, he jumped off the ledge and tried to land on his butt, figuring that might be the most cushioning for the impact. He ended up half-rolling out of the bush, scraping his palms on some thorns as he tried to grab onto something.  
"Ah, motherfucker," he winced, staggering to his feet as quietly as he could. "Hurry up, Mitsuru! Ya guys, follow me!" he instructed the two others, as he immediately started running towards the gate.  
Hiroshi groaned, still dragging his body from the bushes. _Oh man, it ain’t gonna be fun explaining all these shitty scratches to my parents_ , he thought, wondering if a sauna was really worth this.  
  
However, he knew that they had no time to spare. He got up and scrambled after Ryuhei, running towards the gate.  
“Are ya drivin’ again?! I don’ wanna die!” he called out in protest.  
"Again?" Sho sighed, running alongside his friends to the van, "This is the last time, Ryu, I sweeeear!"  
Ryuhei grinned to his friends. He was out of breath, but he was still having kind of a good time. The rush of constantly being close to getting caught, really excited him.  
"Oi, who knocked down objects when drivin', me or Zuki? Exactly! So shut the fuck up, pussies!" he laughed,

Meanwhile, just behind the boys, Mitsuru jumped out of the window last but not least. As he leapt and began to plummet to the ground, he felt the collar of his shirt get stuck on the window's ledge, briefly holding him in the air for a panicked moment. He struggled to free himself, tearing at the collar until it finally ripped and sent him back down to the earth. As he thudded to the ground, he heard the sound of something land beside him, and only after he opened his eyes and looked to see what it was did he realize that he had still been clutching onto Izumi's diary until that point.  
_Shit_ , Mitsuru thought, instantly feeling guilt. He hadn't meant to take it, but now there was no way to bring it back. Just leaving it in the bushes would be further evidence of a break-in, anyway, right...? Even if there was already plenty of evidence inside... Fuck it. He didn't have time to weigh the morality or whatever. He grabbed the diary and booked it to the van, making it just in time as Ryuhei stuck the keys into the ignition, and got it started.

"So, this is all goin' real fuckin' swell, huh?" Mitsuru grumbled as he sprawled out on the backseat to catch his breath. The pains from the dog attack mixed with a throbbing in his throat from being suspended in the air was making him moodier than usual. "How come none of these damn houses has actually been empty yet?"

Ryuhei pressed down onto the gas once Mitsuru had crawled inside too. He didn't exactly care about getting a smooth start, so the car flew off, leaving a trail of dust behind it.  
"Yeah, 'kay, but not our fault Motobuchi had a secret demon dog and Kanai's family has a creepy butler livin' in their basement! This is... part of the risk, man, relax!" Ryuhei insisted to Mitsuru, rolling his eyes. Glancing in the mirror, he noticed what Mitsuru had in his hands.  
"Fucker! Ya took her diary? Man, that's cold, but guess it'll be like... what's that fancy word for porn? Erotic somethin'!" he laughed loudly, slamming his hands against the wheel as he did so.

Hiroshi laughed as he spotted Mitsuru had kept onto the diary. He edged over, trying to get a better look.  
“Open it, open it!” he encouraged, even if he knew that with Ryuhei’s speed, they’d arrive at their next destination within ten seconds.  
Mitsuru didn't answer the boys teasing. Instead, he held Izumi's diary completely still in his hands and stared at it with wide eyes and a thumping heart  
Shit, he really stole it, didn't he? If Kanai ever found out then she'd despise him and think he was some weird pervert. Fuck, what did he do? Why didn't he just leave it? Without a second thought, he threw the diary into the back of the van and tried to forget about it.

"Please tell me ya others got somethin' better though! And I don't mean that gay ass bear, Hiro!" Ryuhei looked at Sho, who was seated next to him, really hoping the boy had grabbed some of the diamond jewellery they had seen laying around. If not, it might not even have been worth the hassle to come. Even if they did get to annoy Mitsuru.  
"I got some jewelry," Sho answered Ryuhei, pulling a set of diamond earrings from his bag. They were subtly pretty, not too gaudy or showy, much like he'd expect from an older elegant woman. He didn't really want to get rid of them if he didn't have to but- oh, how nice it would be to have the money for them as well. "They should be worth something good, hm?"  
  


Ryuhei nodded to Sho, relieved they didn't leave totally empty-handed. He was now headed towards a house they had all agreed on, so at least it wouldn't be another surprise. Not too far away from the Kanai household, was the Oda family mansion. Approaching it, it looked even bigger and more impressive than the previous location.  
"Holy fuck," Ryuhei mumbled to himself, so distracted by the house itself, he forgot to hit the breaks. Luckily he had slowed down a little as he approached, but there was still a loud bang as the car drove right into the metal gate, all of the boy's bouncing forwards slightly.  
"Oh, fuck me!" Ryuhei exclaimed. Taro Tsukioka would be pissed, now; this was sure to leave a dent.

Clearly this next part of the adventure was off to an equally bad start as the previous ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least Hiroshi got a bear.


	3. The Oda Residence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the final chapter begins! Apologies for the wait, but we hope that you enjoy it regardless!

Hiroshi was taken aback when the car suddenly struck something, making a loud bang. He peeked into the front, seeing the metal gate in front of them, and the large mansion shielded behind it. He frowned, as he had expected a giant statue of a frog to be somewhere around the mansion. However, he knew his concern for the moment was the fact that they had definitely destroyed Taro’s car.

“Hey, Ryu. You ain’t supposed to hit the gate,” Hiroshi pointed out.

Ryuhei glared at Hiroshi. _No shit._ He groaned, almost scared to assess the damage.

"Fuck! You're kidding me," Sho yelped louder than even he had expected in response, his usually calm voice jumping up a few octaves as he smoothed out the baby hairs that had come loose upon impact. It wasn't a terrible crash, no, but it was like he could already feel the damage on the car. "Ryuuuu! You ass!" 

Unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping out of the car, Sho hurried to the front to survey the damage. It wasn't terrible, and if it was his own car he probably wouldn't care but the dent was unmistakable. Taro would be the type to notice each new bump and scratch. To him? This would be major. 

Shortly after, the rest of the boys had joined him by his side, observing the damage. Mitsuru took a step closer and touched the dent gently with his hands as if he somehow might make it worse if he pressed too hard. 

"Alright, so who's the one who has caused more damage with this vehicle now?" Sho grumbled, giving Ryuhei a side-eye. "Ugh, do you know the amount of dishes I'm going to have to wash after this? My poor nails will become so weak."

“Oi, Zuki, Ryu can give you a hand washin’ the dishes! It’s his fault ya got in this mess!” Hiroshi offered on Ryuhei’s behalf.

Observing the damage, Ryuhei did feel pretty bad. He scratched the back of his head and sent a sheepish smile to Sho. Though, he didn't feel quite bad enough to offer to pay for any of it. 

"Yeah, yeah, guess that'd be me," he mumbled, admitting defeat. "Fuck, sorry, Zuki. But on the bright side...-"

Ryuhei kicked the gate with his foot. The crash had dented not only the car but the gate too. Two of the metal bars had widened, making a hole big enough to squeeze through. Ryuhei edged through the opening, leading the way.

"- We ain't gotta climb anythin' this time!"

Sho let the topic go for the time being, but he was far from being done with it. 

Seeing the hole in the middle of the gate made Hiroshi grin. This would be a welcome change from climbing over gates or jumping out of windows. He wriggled through the hole with ease— for once, being the shortest member of the group paid off.

“Alright, how are we breakin’ in this time?” he asked. “I can get another rock and bust this shit open again.”

The boys wedged through the metal bars, Sho quick to fix his hair after escaping- being the tallest, and having such broad shoulders, made it a little more difficult for him to slide through, but he somehow moved like a sneaky cat, making it through with ease.

"It's Oda's place so I wanna say fuck it just bust the windows but--" Mitsuru paused, "Of all the people on our list, I feel like the Oda's would be the ones most likely to get pissed and launch a full investigation, y'know? We gotta be careful on this one." 

"Totally. If we leave any evidence here, like if Hiro bleeds all over the place, we're fucked. They're totally gonna call the cops," Ryuhei agreed. 

"Good point," Sho replied, surveying the area. "Surely, they must have some sort of doggy door for that midget to slip through. No offense to you and your kind, Hiroshi."

Hiroshi glared at Sho when he made a dig at his height. His new first priority with their newfound riches would be to buy platformed shoes, so that he would become the tallest person in their gang, and no one would ever make little comments like that again. Hell, with his newfound height, he might even replace Kazuo as boss.

Ryuhei chuckled at Sho's comment, but as they drew closer, he couldn't see anything resembling a doggy door; the Oda's didn't strike him as the kind of people who would enjoy having a pet, so it did make sense there wouldn't be one.

"Shit, guess Froggy uses the door like everyone else," Ryuhei sighed, almost disappointed. He did spot something else though. A bit further away, there was a small staircase leading down to what he assumed was a basement of some sorts. Ryuhei moved closer to investigate it further, noticing it was locked with an old-fashioned lock.

"Oi, guys," he called out in a hushed whisper. "If we manage to pick this open, we can just slam it shut again when we leave. D'ya got some... hairpins or somethin', Zuki?"

He had no clue of that shit even worked, but it seemed worth a try. It also seemed like something Sho might have done before.

Hiroshi's thoughts about his bright future based on his height were interrupted by Ryuhei's discovery. When he mentioned a lock, Hiroshi scurried over, examining it. When he saw how old and rusted it looked, he guffawed with laughter.

"We ain't gonna need some fancy lock-pickin' skills! This thing's 'bout to fall apart!" he exclaimed.

With that, he brought his foot down on the lock, and yelped as pain shot up his foot. He began to hop around, shouting obscenities, and glared at the lock, which still remained in place.

Sho had watched, with some amusement, as Hiroshi attempted to first break the lock on his own, knowing fully well that he had the supplies needed to properly pick the lock. As Hiroshi hopped around in pain, he finally answered, "Yes, of course I have hairpins."

Pulling two out of his pompadour (disposable ones, frankly, they didn't have much of an important role in keeping his hairstyle intact, they were more for purposes such as this- picking locks), he bent the pins until they were straightened out. Then, he pulled the plastic bobs of the ends and stuck them into the lock, jimmying them around for a moment until a click was heard. The lock popped open and fell into Sho's hands. 

"Ta-daaahh," Sho hummed victoriously. "You're welcome." 

"Shit," Mitsuru mumbled, impressed, "Not bad, dude." 

Mitsuru opened up the doors to the cellar, or basement, or whatever the hell the Oda's used it for, and began to walk down the stairs, the boys following behind him. The temperature dropped the further the group descended, the surroundings getting harder to see as it got darker as well. Mitsuru pulled out his flashlight, and cautiously set the light on just ahead of himself, low to the ground, just in case any toads popped up out of nowhere and caught them. 

"This is pretty fuckin' creepy," Mitsuru commented. 

"Mm," Sho hummed in agreement, "Think it's a torture dungeon or something?"

"Fuck, imagine if it's some kinky shit and they got like, sex slaves locked up," Ryuhei commented, scrunching his nose in disgust of the idea of Oda or his kin having any sort of sex drive. "I don't wanna see what kind of amphibian lookin' chicks he'd be into."

As they made it down the stairs, they went through a doorframe leading into a bigger room. It was still dark, but Ryuhei saw the shapes of some objects thanks to Mitsuru's flashlight. He was almost scared to get his hopes up, but as he reached out his hand to feel around, it wrapped around something unmistakable.

"Holy fuck, yes!" Ryuhei cheered, raising a bottle into the air. "A fuckin' wine cellar! Guys, we're gonna get lit!"

He unscrewed the bottle with his teeth, not hesitating to chug back a couple of big gulps. This was almost as good as jewellery. At least it could make the mission even more fun. 

"Guys, if they got like some real fancy whiskey or somethin', that could be worth a fortune!"

Hiroshi stuck closely by his friends as they proceeded down the creepy stairs. He was half-expecting Oda to be down at the end, waiting for them in his swamp, holding a knife.

Instead, he was pleasantly surprised by the wine cellar they ended up in. He glanced over at Ryuhei as he drank some of the wine, wondering how wild it would be if they let Ryuhei continue driving after this.

“Oi, I think I see a bottle of whiskey!” he exclaimed.

He ran over to pick up one of the heavy, expensive-looking bottles. He managed to hold it for all of about ten seconds before dropping it, causing it to smash instantly. The liquid instantly stunk up the room with a strong smell.

“Uh, fuck. They got more expensive ones, right?” he asked.

The sound of a smashed bottle made Mitsuru cringe, opening one eye to survey the damage. Yup, it was bad. "Shit, man, that looked real expensive. Watch your grip so we can actually enjoy this shit." 

Ryuhei had exclaimed in annoyance as Hiroshi smashed what smelled like perfectly drinkable, probably expensive, alcohol.

"C'mon, man," he groaned, smacking his forehead with a hand. "Just don't touch anythin' that can break, 'kay?"

"Oh. My. God," Sho, who had been hunting around on his own, suddenly exclaimed. In front of him, a tall pedestal stood with a dark, almost glowing, bottle sitting at the top. "All of the time, I thought it was a myth but- Oh my, it truly exists." 

"Huh? What? What is it?" Mitsuru asked, now eager to learn the value of whatever it was that Hiroshi hadn't destroyed yet. 

"The Château Cheval Blanc 1947," Sho said in an almost-whisper, "It's worth over three-hundred thousand American dollars. That has to be like, a ton of yen, right?" 

"Fuck," Mitsuru mumbled, no idea how to convert the number but hey it sounded like a ton of money, "Nobody fucking touch it, alright? We'll grab it on the way out so we don't drop it or some shit. Hiro, don't even go on that side of that room."

Ryuhei's eyes lit up too as Sho found some fancy wine shit he clearly recognized. "Wait... That's like... Shit, that's a lot. Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here and go upstairs before we fuck this one up!"

Ryuhei was mainly talking to Hiroshi, and nudged the smaller boy across the room, careful to avoid the expensive bottles. He offered him the bottle he had been holding instead, figuring he could share some of the buzz with the others.

When Sho mentioned the price of the bottle, Hiroshi froze in place, worried that his slightest movement would send their expensive prize flying to the floor. He only dared to move when the rest of his gang moved too.

Finding the door leading upstairs, Ryuhei was quick to jump up the steps, eager to see what else they would find. Someone who had hundred of thousands of dollars worth of wine, must surely have other things in the million range, right?

He couldn't help but be impressed as he looked around the hallway the staircase had led to; even there, the design was obviously expensive, with medium-sized chandeliers hanging above them. The hallway opened up to some kind of lounge, where an even bigger chandelier, hanging over a white marble table, was the first thing to catch his eye.

"Yo, Hiro," he mumbled. "I'll give ya twenty percent of my profit from t'night, if ya manage to swing from that thing."

Probably not a Mitsuru-approved plan, but it was something Ryuhei would like to see.

As Hiroshi gazed up at the chandelier, he was briefly distracted by Ryuhei making him a bet he couldn’t refuse. _Dumbass, I would’a done that for free,_ he thought.

“Hell yeah! Let’s do it!” he exclaimed.

With that, he hopped up onto the marble table and gripped the end of the chandelier. He swung victoriously for a moment, grinning as he heard the shards chime.

His euphoria came to an abrupt halt as he felt his legs dangle in the air, with no clear way of getting down. He clung tightly onto the chandelier for dear life, trying to ignore the cracking sound that the ceiling was making.

“Uh, guys?” he called out.

"Shit!" Mitsuru exclaimed as the sounds of the cracking in the ceiling got louder. "Dude, you gotta drop! Or else we gotta take the whole damn chandelier with us!"

Ryuhei almost instantly regretted the dare. Yeah, seeing Hiroshi swing had been fun for like, five seconds, but then he felt a slight nervousness as the chandelier gave signs of being ready to come undone.

"Yeah, just drop, man!" he agreed with Mitsuru, moving to stand directly underneath Hiroshi. "It's cool, I got ya!"

_Maybe. Depends when ya drop..._

Either way, Ryuhei extended his arms, preparing to catch the other boy.

Hiroshi gulped. Sure, he’d trust his friends with his life... but would he trust them to catch him from a short-distanced fall? He wasn’t sure about that.

However, he didn’t have much time to consider as he heard another cracking sound. He knew he had to let go or he’d end up in deeper shit.

With that, he let go, and fell right on top of Ryuhei. He groaned, deciding he had enough of landing on top of his friend.

“Well, at least the chandelier didn’—“ he began, but didn’t have a chance to finish that thought, as the chandelier finally let go and fell in Hiroshi and Ryuhei’s direction.

 _Oh my,_ Sho thought to himself as he watched the scene play out- luckily, from a distance. He wasn't about to risk his beautiful thick locks getting tangled in chandelier crystals. _Good luck boys, but you're on your own._

"Shit, dudes, watch out!" Mitsuru called to his friends. Despite his attempt to jump up and catch the chandelier, he wasn't extremely athletic and it fell right through his arms.

Ryuhei had managed to do a little roll, puling Hiroshi with him, so only parts of the chandelier landed onto their backs. Still, he groaned loudly. This felt like they were pretty much getting beaten up all night, really.

Hiroshi saw his short life flash before his eyes as he saw the chandelier come tumbling down. He clung tightly to Ryuhei as he was rolled out of the way, and gulped as he heard the chandelier crash.

"Fuckin'.... Hiro, ya should have given me a shout that ya were 'bout to let go!" he complained, rolling around and dusting pieces of glass off himself. "We're gonna fuckin' die at this point. If that had hit our head, we'd be fucked!"

Ryuhei chose to ignore the fact that he was the one who had convinced Hiroshi to cling to it in the first place.

"And now what?! We gotta clean this up? Wait, there's no way the Oda's won't realize their billion yen chandelier is just gone, right? We're fucked either way!"

“We could, uh... pick up the pieces an’ sell them? They gotta be worth somethin’, right?” Hiroshi asked.

As he spoke, he began to get up, and approached the shards. He picked up a few pieces, beginning to place them inside his bag.

"There's no way they're not going to notice," Sho commented, "So the effort feels futile. I'm not sure that a broken chandelier can hold much value. No sense in hiding that we were here anymore, though." 

Mitsuru groaned. "So, in pretty much every house, we nearly got our asses handed to us or nearly got caught. Might as well just grab that wine and call it a fuckin' night at this point."

"Hey, they could be like crystal or somethin'! I say we collect some, right?!" Ryuhei backed up Hiroshi's idea, wanting to stay optimistic.

He rolled his eyes at Mitsuru. "Stop bein' such a downer! It's just a lil broken glass! We made it all this way, and Oda's like, the fuckin' richest out of everyone. We can't leave with just some booze!"

Besides, Ryuhei really wanted to find out some dark family secrets about the rich amphibian family. He took another large gulp of the wine bottle he had brought from downstairs, as he looked around. "Like, at least we gotta swipe some more diamonds!"

"I second looking for more diamonds," Sho chimed in, "We've risked enough making it this far, might as well go big, hm?"

“More diamonds! More diamonds!” Hiroshi chanted, delighted that the gang were going along with his plan for a change.

He tiptoed further down the hall, grimacing at the painted portraits of Toshinori’s ugly family on the wall. His mom looked surprisingly hot, but of course, all the men in the family were frogs.

“D’ya think they have a secret diamond vault around here or somethin’?” he asked the others.

Ryuhei also grimaced as his eyes looked at the pained family portaits. How fuckin' snobbish could you get? He tapped Hiroshi's shoulder, whisperin'. 

"Yo, ya got a sharpie or somethin'? We should give this ugly frog prince a moustache. Or like, draw a dick near his mouth!" he laughed, finding himself hysterical.

Waiting for Hiroshi to reply, Ryuhei poked the painting firmly, wondering if maybe it was worth anything. He heard something make a noise, like a click, from the back of the painting. To his surprise, the side of the painting popped out a little bit, revealing a hollow room behind it.

"Holy shit! Guys! Secret passway!" he exclaimed, stunned at this discovery. He propped the painting open even further, revealing a narrow corridor behind it.

Hiroshi gasped as soon as he noticed the secret passageway. His life had officially become some kind of awesome heist movie. Despite his multiple injuries from the night, he still considered it the best night of his life.

Mitsuru's attention was immediately caught. As salty as he wanted to be over the failed plot and lack of treasures, the promise of a secret passageway was just too good to ignore. 

"Holy shit, for real? People really got shit like that?" He asked, but before anybody could answer, he was pushing passed the group to be the first to enter, using his flashlight to lead the way. 

Looking around, he was somewhat disappointed by what he saw. It was an empty corridor, with cobwebs and dust all over it. 

"Man, there ain't shi-----" 

Mitsuru's voice was suddenly cut off as the floor beneath him collapsed, landing with a thud on the basement level. Whatever that secret room was, it had a trap door. 

"Are you okay, Mitsuuu?" Sho sang down from the floor level. 

"Yeah... Guess so," Mitsuru groaned, his voice echoing slightly. He sat up and scratched his head, grabbing his flashlight, which had since died thanks to the fall. "I can't see shit, though. Anybody got a light? Maybe they hide all the good shit down here. Or maybe it's where they torture flies or some shit."

Hiroshi scrambled down after Mitsuru, looking out for the trapdoor. He missed his footing and fell right through, directly on top of Mitsuru. He groaned.

“I’m so sick of landin’ on top of you fuckers!” he complained.

He sat up, confused by the utter darkness. “We ain’t in a pond or somethin’, are we?”

Ryuhei, along with Sho, kept his distance to what he had realized was a trapdoor. Shaking his head, he laughed.

"So we're drivin' to the ER right after this, right?" he joked, peeking down into the darkness.

"Can ya see anythin'? It's not wet? Is it safe to jump down? Here... Grab this!" Ryuhei flicked out his lighter, which wouldn't provide much help, but at least it was something. He threw it down, hearing the sound of it hitting something soft; it turned out to be Mitsuru's head.

"Fuck, dude!" Mitsuru groaned out, rubbing the spot on the top of his head that got hit. Luckily, his perm had mostly cushioned the fall, but less luckily, the lid of the lighter had hitched open and got caught in a curl. He struggled to set it free but only got it caught further the more he fought with it. After a moment of this, he groaned loudly and gave up. 

"Just fuckin' jump down guys, it ain't that far!" he called up, which was enough to convince Sho and Ryuhei. 

Sho jumped down first, although it was more so like he lowered himself. Because he was so tall and nimble, he landed with much more grace than the previous others had. Then, he dusted his hands off on the knees of his pants and joined the others, who had just barely brought themselves back onto their feet at that point. Sho helped Mitsuru fidget with the lighter in his hair until he finally got it free (A hair emergency? Of course Sho had upmost empathy for his friend).

Hiroshi stared at the lighter in Mitsuru’s hair with morbid curiosity, wondering if it was going to set his whole perm ablaze. He knew if it did, that it would end in blood and tears. He was almost relieved when Sho managed to untangle the lighter.

With the newly freed lighter in his hands, Sho flicked the flame to life and shone it in front of the group, illuminating a very small but effective flame to guide their path. At first, it didn't look like there was much of anything in the room, minus mounds of dust that was still floating in the air from the boys falls.

Hiroshi clung to Sho as he produced a flame from the lighter, looking frantically around the room. Out of the corner of his eye in the dull light, he spotted chains on the walls.

“What th’ fuck is this? Some kind of torture chamber?” he whispered.

He approached the chains, rattling them. They felt old and rusty. He grinned, feeling like he was in some kind of old-timey movie.

"Holy fuck," Ryuhei chimed in as he spotted the chains as well, following Hiroshi closer to the walls. He moved his hand over one of them, frowning. "Oi, anyone else sorta expectin' to see some beaten up chick chained to he wall somewhere? This is all fuckin' creepy, right?"

He glanced at his other friends, as if wanting confirmation that this definitely wasn't normal. Or was this the kind of stuff you'd find in every rich person's basement?

Following the light of the small flame produced by Sho, Ryuhei focused intently on focusing his eyes. "Hey, it sure looks empty. But they gotta have a door somewhere here, right? I'm guessin' they don't enter by fallin' through the fuckin' ceilin' everytime."

Using his hands to feel his way along the walls, Ryuhei made his way along before coming onto contact with something soft. He instantly retracted his hand, praying it wasn't some human flesh.

"Yo, what the fuck did I just touch?! Someone get the light over here! Fuck!"

"What is it?!" Sho exclaimed, turning the lighter towards the source of the yelling, the light illuminating the wall and the soft thing that Ryuhei had come into contact with. 

There, in the wall, was a dark substance oozing from an old portrait. It was a rustic colour, but much too thick and fresh to be human blood. Sho gagged at the sight. 

"Ew, oh my god, you touched that? What is it?!" 

Mitsuru was the only one brave enough to get a closer look. Stepping forward, he smeared the liquid with a glove that he had packed in his bag (but had totally forgotten about until then- so much for not leaving fingerprints). 

"Weird," he mumbled, "guess it's just like... wall gunk, or some shit?" Mitsuru commented. 

"It's coming from behind the picture," Sho commented, "What could it be?" 

Mitsuru, now curious about the source as well, lifted the corners of the portrait and moved it from the wall. It was a somewhat difficult task, as it clearly hadn't been moved in some time and had been comfortable in it's position on the wall. Behind the portrait was a hole in the wall where the bricks had been removed (only then did Mitsuru recall seeing a pile of bricks outside the cellar doors), and sitting in the hole were several curious items. 

Hiroshi kept a close eye on where his friends were. This basement was becoming creepier by the minute, and he didn't want to be murdered by whatever creatures were lurking in Oda's basement. As more time passed, he began to hope more and more that it was just a really weird sex dungeon.

"Shit, this is kinda low," Mitsuru said, bending over to get a closer look, "Zuki, bring the light closer, and Hiroshi, get your ass over here. You're going to be the one that gets the best view."

As Sho brought the lighter closer to the wall, the view faintly came into sight. The slimy substance on the wall was somewhat brown in colour, and the smell was... 

"Shit," Sho murmured, but by then it was too late. The lighter had gotten to close to the substance and it quickly burst into flames, the boys all jumping back barely in time to save themselves. "It's gasoline!" 

"Gasoline?! Dude, what the fuck?!" Mitsuru cried out, sending the other boys wide eyes, "But it's fucking fresh... how..." 

As Mitsuru's voice drifted off, a voice came from the trap door above where the boys had fallen. 

"Burn, you vulgar fools! Burn and die!" 

It was Toshinori Oda. He must have just gotten home in time to hear the commotion or, possibly, he had not gone with his family at all. Somehow, the boys hadn't considered that possibility until just then. As for the gasoline, Toshinori must have known the ideal spot to pour it so that it reached the boys in the secret room. They had greatly underestimated that little psychopathic frog that they went to school with. 

"Fuck!" ths boys cried out, nearly in unison.

The colour draining from their faces, the boys had to think quickly in order to make it out alive. 

"We need to act fast," Sho said, even his usually cool tone was cracking with strain as he tried to remain calm. He began feeling the non-burning walls for a possible escape door, "This is going to spread fast and I have way too much spray in my hair to risk anything! Stop standing around, idiots!"

Hiroshi let out a high-pitched scream and immediately hopped onto Sho's back, accidentally covering the boy's eyes.

"Get us out of here! I ain' gettin' killed by Froggy! That ain't how I'm s'posed to go!" he cried out, unable to keep the panic out of his voice. 

He buried his face in the back of Sho's head, trying to ignore the growing heat in the room. More than anything, he hoped he would wake up in his own room- robbing the rich definitely wasn't worth this much effort.

"The fuck are ya jumpin' round for, Hiro?! You're like the fireman in the squad! Do something?!" Ryuhei whined loudly, ignoring that Hiroshi had a bigger talent for starting fires than for putting them out. 

He would have suggested they just run back the way they came in and simply pushed the small fucker, who was only about the size of a bowling pin, out of the way, but Ryuhei realized not all of them would make it back up that trap door in time. 

Instead, he kept feeling for a door in the room. As a positive, the flames did provide some more light, but that was a very small silver lining right now. Picking up his pace, he finally felt some kind of handle, and pushed it with all his might.

"Guys! There's a door or somethin', but I think something's blockin' it on the outside. Some fuckin' help?"

He looked mainly at Mitsuru as he asked his, considering Hiroshi was busy climbing Sho like a tree, meaning the taller boy had limited ability to help right now too.

Mitsuru caught Ryuhei's gaze nearly immediately, and glanced at the other two only a brief second before deducing that they'd be no use. Sho, who normally had a talent for sneaking into places quietly, had clearly been brought down by his friends- quite literally, as demonstrated by Hiroshi, who despite his small stature, had nearly managed to knock down the largest of the group in his panicked state. 

"I got ya, man," Mitsuru nodded, knowing this was no time to panic. He held onto the handle alongside Ryuhei and felt the palms of his hands wet with cold perspiration, despite the growing heat. He wiped them on the thighs of his jeans before gripping the handle and prompting his comrade with a, "On the count of three, we do one fuckin' big push and get the hell out of here, alright? One.... two....three!" 

With all of the weight that Mitsuru could muster, he slammed his body against the door. Coincidentally, at the exact same time, Sho had managed to get Hiroshi off of his back, but as the boy clung to him again, he had nearly lost his footing, and fell backwards towards the other two boys. Hiroshi, still in his grip, fell alongside the others as well, as the door burst open beneath all of their weight, and landed on the ground with a painful thud.

Throughout the entire ordeal, Hiroshi had no idea what was going on- of course, that was nothing new for him. But, in this case, it was due to the fact that he kept his face buried in the back of Sho's head the entire time.

When he heard the sound of something creaking open, Hiroshi nearly jumped off Sho's back to celebrate, but decided that was a bad idea, given the fire still blazing behind them. His joy was shortlived, as seconds later, Sho fell down, dragging him with him. He lost his grip, and ended up falling facefirst onto the ground. He groaned, not moving from his position.

"Damn, Zuki, your grip fuckin' sucks!" he grumbled.

"The problem isn't my grip, Hiro," Sho countered, as he tried to coolly fix his tousled hair, "I've never had that complaint before." 

Hiroshi blinked in confusion at Sho's comment, having zero clue why anyone would compliment him on his grip. He didn't bother to answer, but instead got up and brushed himself off.

Behind them, the fire continued to grow. One of the lights from the upstairs windows suddenly turned on, and the silhouette of a man, Toshinori's father, could be seen leaving the room.

"Toshinori, how many times do we have to tell you this is not the approach to dealing with your vulgar classmates?!" Toshinori's father yelled, audible even through the walls of the house.

Ryuhei huffed as he got to his feet, no time to wipe the dirt off of his pants. It hit him that, thank God, the door had let to the now quite chilly outside. He had never felt such relief in breathing in fresh air; a big contrast to the room filling up with smoke behind him. This exit was on the opposite side of where they had entered into the wine cellar, and he quickly glanced to the side of the door, realizing a big crate had been what had blocked it. But there wasn't really time to check that out, judging by the loud voice yelling throughout the house.

"Fuck. How many times has Oda tried to murder someone? Why has this happened b'fore!?" Ryuhei needed to know, nudging Mitsuru with his foot as an encouragement to get boy back on his feet too. "How have we missed that he's the class psycho?!"

From the ground, Mitsuru only groaned in annoyed response. He had wanted to shoot back up on to his feet immediately to show that he was tough enough that the fall had no effect on him- but after the night he'd been having, he had no energy to do so. _Should I just fucking pretend to be dead?_ he wondered, _Better than looking like a fucking pussy that can't handle a couple of falls, a dog attack, a murder attempt..._

"Fuck, man," Mitsuru blurted out, a laugh beneath his tone. Before he could stop himself, he was laughing deep to his stomach as he rolled onto his back, and breathed in the fresh night's air. The stars in Shiroiwa were crisp and bright, and for once, he felt pretty darn happy to see them even if that was kinda gay or whatever. "We've been to hell and back tonight, dudes!" 

"Is now really the time for a chuckle, dear?" Sho asked, a hint of a smile lingering as he lit his cigarette on the residue flames coming from the Oda basement, "We have minutes- maybe just seconds, to get the hell out of here." 

"Yeah," Mitsuru sighed as his laughing came to a slow stop, "Guess you're right. Lets get the hell out of here, guys."

Hiroshi glumly kicked a rock out of the way. Sure, they had gone through hell and back that night and came out alive, but Hiroshi wasn't even sure if he was happy about that. At the end of the day, there was no way they could have obtained a whole lot.

"Well, at least we got, uh..." he paused, reaching into his bag, and pulled out the teddy bear he got from Izumi's room. "This out of it."

He paused and looked at it, grinning. _Alright, maybe it sucks ass that I ain't gettin' an upgrade for my tree house, but this fucker's pretty cool, I guess._

Ryuhei hadn't stopped for too long to take in their near escape; instead, he slowly walked backwards towards the main gate, not taking his eyes off his friends.

Ryuhei raised a brow to Hiroshi smiling at the ugly bear, before letting out a quiet chuckle. "Yeah, that, and those weird ass figurines from Motobuchi's place. 'N the tragic diary for some late night entertainment, I guess."

He continued speaking, "Guess we can say this was a fail, f'sure. Maybe we need like, better intel or like, mappin' out the property b'forehand next time..." 

_If there is a next time,_ he added to himself. At least they should probably wait for Kazuo to help out. He had to admit, all this probably wouldn't have happened if Kazuo was there.

"Next time I do the planning," Sho countered to Ryuhei, who despite his expertise in the area had made the rookie mistake of letting Mitsuru and Ryuhei take charge of this mission, "and it will be a beautiful success." 

Ryuhei grinned to Mitsuru, before he reached the slightly bumped up car.

"Yo, fuckers. Any chance I get to drive home?"

Grinning back at Ryuhei, Mitsuru shook his head despite the pain it caused. 

"Not a fucking chance, asswipe. I've earned this." 

Snatching the keys from Sho, who didn't put up a fight to begin with, Mitsuru sat himself in the front seat of the truck and switched the ignition. 

"Hang on to your seats, I'm about to show you assholes how a getaway is done right!" 

The car quickly bolted to life, with only the view of an angered Toshinori Oda surrounded by clouds of smoke following behind them for no more than twenty seconds when he finally ran out of breath. The gang all laughed together at the sight, knowing it would be a great inside joke for them for weeks, maybe even months, to follow. 

Each silently prayed that nobody would believe whatever tale Toshinori would fashion in the days to come, but they felt comfort in knowing that he would likely be treated as the boy who cried wolf and they'd get away, scot-free, with their absolutely value-less treasures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is!! The journey is over!! Or is it...? Yeah, it is. Hope y'all liked it!


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